Hello Jane and Reid,
I posted a few messages on the board in the early days and know Sara from Brandeis. She was a year older than me and the summer before her senior year we both lived in Waltham, which is when we became friends.
That summer was so special to me. There were only a small group of Brandeisians who stayed in Waltham in the summer time and so we were a tight knit group. We spent most nights together, usually playing cards, talking, drinking a few beers - normal summer time fun. =\)
My fondest memory of Sara was the time we spent in Nantucket that summer. She invited me to visit with friends who were in a band and had a show on the island. It was my first time out there. Sara was such a great hostess and her friends of course were wonderful!
I wanted to write to you because I know that Sara battled with dieting and her weight and self image issues in addition to the depression and other issues. I know this because we spoke of it a lot that summer. I was on my way to becoming a psychologist specializing in eating disorders. I decided to do this at the ego of 16 and actually graduated with my doctorate in 2005, totally by the grace of god! I did end up specializing in eating disorders, in addition to addictions and body dysmorphic disorder. I also had the opportunity to work with the severely mentally ill, mood disorders, personality disorders, trichotillomania - you name it!
The whole time I was living a lie though, because I had never found a way out of the depression, addictions and self and body hatred that I suffered from daily. My use of drugs, alcohol, sex and other things to self medicate just got worse over the years. I was living as a hypocrite, working as a psychotherapist by day and living the life of an addict by night. I had tried every diet and exercise program known to man and since I was working in some of the most esteemed treatment centers in the world for eating disorders, I had exposure to nutritionist who worked only with celebrities and a select few, and even they couldn't help me with the food addiction. I tried all the therapy I could but, being a therapist myself, nothing seemed to even scratch the surface. After a life time in therapy, or so it seemed, my life was just getting worse and so I tried spirituality , metaphysics and self help books. I tried Kabbalah, attended the school that produced the movie "what the bleep do we really know," meditated, read, visualized, spoke to different gurus, yogis and spiritual leaders and more. When I tried to stop one addiction the others just got worse AND I would have to go on medication.
I share all of this with you \(and appreciate you reading all of it\) because a year and a half ago I FINALLY got help that worked. I wish I could have shared it with Sara. I have not had to self medicate at all since the day I met my mentor and friend Roy Nelson \(www.betotallyfree.com\). The depression lifted, I knew intuitively I could release all of the addictions and even the need for access food. I lost 60 pounds and have kept it off for a year and a half without any diet or exercise regime. Just emotional and spiritual work.
Roy has overcome more than me and lost more weight than me and has sustained this healthy lifestyle \(and incredible financial abundance and more\) for over 30 years. His life is a testimony to the work that he does. He manifested and maintained exactly what I wanted. That is why I asked for his help and why I keep him close as a mentor and friend. I have seen people have miraculous recoveries but sustaining them over time is a different story.
I looked at Sara's website again today for the first time in a long time and had a good cry, finally. I was so self medicated when Sara died that I couldn't feel it. It felt so good to cry for her today but I felt so heavy in my heart that she didn't have the opportunity to have the same experience that I had. I wish I had found this sooner and could have been able to share it with her. I know that she and I suffered from the same underlying problems. I know there are SO many people like Sara and I were, who are in a great deal of pain and think they have tried everything and should just give up. I want them to know they don't have to.
My mentor has worked privately with a select few "hopeless cases" for over 30 plus years. I want to let the world know about him and his work so that no one else has to die.
I could REALLY use your help ... the world is a big place. Anything you can do to help would be most appreciated. I want to thank you for bringing Sara into this world and nurturing her as you did, because she was a shining ray of light in my life.
I really would love to speak with you two, and anyone else reading this who would like to know more or who has any ideas of how to get the word out! Please call me at \(310\) 384-6317, any time, day or night.
Congratulations on your daughter's beautiful wedding! The video was beautiful. Thank you for sharing that with all of us!
All of my love to you,
Talia Witkowski
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